I was leaving the library, really just now!, and some kids yell to a guy in front of me, "Hey! Yellow-shirt guy!"
YELLow Shirt Guy! Where was he all month?
I'm thinking about soul-mates (unreal) and comrades and missed connections, and how so often things chop up to timing issues. Or non-issues. But that's silly.
This could be a passage, me to you, watching the thread continue. That could be the best anyone can do- isn't it why we reproduce?
And then once you've passed it on, what can you do besides watch? Miss Aloe said she could never kill herself because, honestly, she's just too damn curious about how her life will play out. And I keep thinking, geez it's SO LONG until I'm going to be fifty- think of how many years that is- think of how much fun we are all going to have, in that time. There is possibility for so much fun. We could wear whatever we want, and even kill each other, but we won't.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
You're Welcome
1: Where's your yellow?
Me: It's not April anymore.
2: She stopped wearing it so that May could come. That was very gracious.
Me: It's not April anymore.
2: She stopped wearing it so that May could come. That was very gracious.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
April 31st
I'm a pedestrian.
I'm still wearing a yellow belt for the moment.
I'm collecting piles of clothes, I'm giving them away. I don't want my clothes anymore.
MeeP and I were wearing basically the same outfit this afternoon, by chance. It was strange. Jean skirts, tees and skate shoes.
At midnight last night, me and aface and company did yellow shots in farewell. The Orioles won. Our wristbands for the GMB fundraiser at the bar were yellow and this morning I threw mine away.
This morning was May or April 31st.
I'm still wearing a yellow belt for the moment.
I'm collecting piles of clothes, I'm giving them away. I don't want my clothes anymore.
MeeP and I were wearing basically the same outfit this afternoon, by chance. It was strange. Jean skirts, tees and skate shoes.
At midnight last night, me and aface and company did yellow shots in farewell. The Orioles won. Our wristbands for the GMB fundraiser at the bar were yellow and this morning I threw mine away.
This morning was May or April 31st.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday
Where are my words? I thought. Thursday afternoon anthropology classes are usually among my most prolific creative moments for drawing and writing and writing. But I was part of the discussion, or just sitting there. Eerie.
The stupid bitches in my class were talking about weight and I listened to them in the bathroom during our break.
"She said she gained 15 lbs when she came to college"
"Oh my god! How do you do that"
"But she's so fucking tiny."
"Yeah well, before she came here she said she only weighed 85."
85?
wtf ew.
and now my brain was speaking stupid girl.
But then they surprised me. Back in the room, we started talking. And one girl said flat out, "I noticed you wear yellow everyday. At first I thought it was just a Thursday thing. But what is it? Is it political?"
No, tomorrow is the last day. Thank Jesus. And we had a whole conversation, about lots of things, until class restarted.
The professor was saying something, a little later, and I only caught the end: "...so we can predict what your chances at life will be." At life? Let's see.
85 lbs- not promising
Anthropology- hippie
Yellow-?
Who cares. Really.
Gogol Bordello- they wear a lot of yellow!
We were at the show, it made me extra happy. Yellow sweaty. I took my underwear off in the bathroom- wasn't yellow anyway. Felt miles better.
MeeP said, for Halloween, she is going to be me in my yellow phase- get it, Amy in yellow.
So then I would need to be Amy also, Amy punk rock. She will wear yellow and I will wear stilts and a studded belt and a cutoff band t-shirt.
Renae sent me this link: life in yellow
The stupid bitches in my class were talking about weight and I listened to them in the bathroom during our break.
"She said she gained 15 lbs when she came to college"
"Oh my god! How do you do that"
"But she's so fucking tiny."
"Yeah well, before she came here she said she only weighed 85."
85?
wtf ew.
and now my brain was speaking stupid girl.
But then they surprised me. Back in the room, we started talking. And one girl said flat out, "I noticed you wear yellow everyday. At first I thought it was just a Thursday thing. But what is it? Is it political?"
No, tomorrow is the last day. Thank Jesus. And we had a whole conversation, about lots of things, until class restarted.
The professor was saying something, a little later, and I only caught the end: "...so we can predict what your chances at life will be." At life? Let's see.
85 lbs- not promising
Anthropology- hippie
Yellow-?
Who cares. Really.
Gogol Bordello- they wear a lot of yellow!
We were at the show, it made me extra happy. Yellow sweaty. I took my underwear off in the bathroom- wasn't yellow anyway. Felt miles better.
MeeP said, for Halloween, she is going to be me in my yellow phase- get it, Amy in yellow.
So then I would need to be Amy also, Amy punk rock. She will wear yellow and I will wear stilts and a studded belt and a cutoff band t-shirt.
Renae sent me this link: life in yellow
Wednesday
On Wednesday, I wore yellow all day, but not to skating practice. We went out right after, and though I stopped at home for a moment, I didn't bother changing clothes.
MeeP said, "It's ok! You can change into pants if you want!"
and I said, "No no whatever, let's just go"
She said, that I just did not want to wear yellow
She said, "I like the yellow now!"
See, we did end up still friends.
She said she would not have noticed I was not wearing yellow though, if I didn't say anything, but later it did become exposed:
At the Dizz, I got totally called out on not wearing yellow- I felt so bad about it, I thought, I should have changed!
It's my fault, partially, because I slapped aface for not having his hawk gelled (that was the deal- if he was in public without the hawk up, I could slap him, and if I was in public not in yellow, he could slap me) and then he said "Hey! You're not wearing yellow! Two days... you almost made it."
I had a red jacket, and a red shirt.
Ellen tried to help, said red had orange in it, which was close to yellow...
aface did not want to slap me in public. He said he'd get arrested. He said he would do it later, in the privacy of his own home. Have not been to his house yet.
A premonition.
I had a long walk home to myself, deflated and was smoking a black and mild just because, was walking up the street not really noticing what was around me. Till I saw one cop car, then another, then like three, on the corner by the fire station. I was across the street. Not a big deal, someone getting arrested, but then there was this big brown bag in the middle of the sidewalk and I got curious, what the hell was out here at 1:30 in the morning on the street so I kind of kicked it and
a man was there! where did he come from!
oh!
"Yeah," he said, "That was the six pack, in there, that that guy just threw at my head."
I looked across the street- the po-po van was pulling up.
what
"He was beating his girlfriend," the guy continued. He had a little broom and dustpan, I hadn't noticed all the glass he was now sweeping up.
You didn't call 911?
"No, well, she did."
Oh, and like a drunken idiot, I was just watching and didn't know what to do. Finally, I picked up the wet paper bag and threw it in a trashcan. Told him I was sorry, so sorry that happened to him.
"That's fucking Hampden." was his response.
I wanted that to not be true. Hampden was supposed to be hipsters and DIY and antique stores and all the things MeeP and I talked about on the way down this very sidewalk, a few hours earlier. But it was fucking Hampden. And this was red- cops and shitty blunts and throwing glass bottles at strangers in the night, beating girls and walking up the street alone. The only thing missing was the blood, but you could feel it seeping anyway, could feel it in my jacket. I'm sure it was there somewhere.
I hurried up the last block and a half- the moon was huge- and after 50 feet or so, I stopped looking back over my shoulder at the man sweeping up the shards by himself on the corner.
MeeP said, "It's ok! You can change into pants if you want!"
and I said, "No no whatever, let's just go"
She said, that I just did not want to wear yellow
She said, "I like the yellow now!"
See, we did end up still friends.
She said she would not have noticed I was not wearing yellow though, if I didn't say anything, but later it did become exposed:
At the Dizz, I got totally called out on not wearing yellow- I felt so bad about it, I thought, I should have changed!
It's my fault, partially, because I slapped aface for not having his hawk gelled (that was the deal- if he was in public without the hawk up, I could slap him, and if I was in public not in yellow, he could slap me) and then he said "Hey! You're not wearing yellow! Two days... you almost made it."
I had a red jacket, and a red shirt.
Ellen tried to help, said red had orange in it, which was close to yellow...
aface did not want to slap me in public. He said he'd get arrested. He said he would do it later, in the privacy of his own home. Have not been to his house yet.
A premonition.
I had a long walk home to myself, deflated and was smoking a black and mild just because, was walking up the street not really noticing what was around me. Till I saw one cop car, then another, then like three, on the corner by the fire station. I was across the street. Not a big deal, someone getting arrested, but then there was this big brown bag in the middle of the sidewalk and I got curious, what the hell was out here at 1:30 in the morning on the street so I kind of kicked it and
a man was there! where did he come from!
oh!
"Yeah," he said, "That was the six pack, in there, that that guy just threw at my head."
I looked across the street- the po-po van was pulling up.
what
"He was beating his girlfriend," the guy continued. He had a little broom and dustpan, I hadn't noticed all the glass he was now sweeping up.
You didn't call 911?
"No, well, she did."
Oh, and like a drunken idiot, I was just watching and didn't know what to do. Finally, I picked up the wet paper bag and threw it in a trashcan. Told him I was sorry, so sorry that happened to him.
"That's fucking Hampden." was his response.
I wanted that to not be true. Hampden was supposed to be hipsters and DIY and antique stores and all the things MeeP and I talked about on the way down this very sidewalk, a few hours earlier. But it was fucking Hampden. And this was red- cops and shitty blunts and throwing glass bottles at strangers in the night, beating girls and walking up the street alone. The only thing missing was the blood, but you could feel it seeping anyway, could feel it in my jacket. I'm sure it was there somewhere.
I hurried up the last block and a half- the moon was huge- and after 50 feet or so, I stopped looking back over my shoulder at the man sweeping up the shards by himself on the corner.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Near the End
I wrote the wrong date on my notes this morning. I somehow lost around 4 days this weekend. It is April 27th and Yellow April will be over on Saturday. I do not know what I will be wearing.
Jean said I look like a big yellow banana and Aidee Dee said I wore a nice neutral color, at the bout. Which is true, none of the home teams are yellow.
I borrowed aface pajama pants, blue plaid, when mine were soaking wet from biking in the rain. The next morning I whined though they had dried. I did not want to put those yellow pants back on. And realized that was the moment, the test. Can you just wear a silly pair of pants please, out of principle? Can you have some discipline. And once they were on, things were no different and I forgot about it and the day went just fine. I did not put the blue pants back on when we returned.
In line at the oasis today, the barrista had a giraffe tattoo around her wrist, so fantastic (and yes it was yellow). I returned later and this girl with a yellow shirt got in line behind me.
She started singing and it was kind of odd.
She was holding a piece of paper that looked like a script all in Spanish with random words in bold so that I could only really read something like "yadayadayadaydaViejoyadayadayadaCancionyadayadayadaManos."
She asked if there was a particular reason I was wearing yellow, besides it being awesome?
Well yeah, you see, it is Yellow April so I'm only wearing yellow for the month.
And is there a reason for that?
No not really.
Cool, yellow is my favorite color. It looks great.
I had to leave for class. I didn't wait for change.
Jean said I look like a big yellow banana and Aidee Dee said I wore a nice neutral color, at the bout. Which is true, none of the home teams are yellow.
I borrowed aface pajama pants, blue plaid, when mine were soaking wet from biking in the rain. The next morning I whined though they had dried. I did not want to put those yellow pants back on. And realized that was the moment, the test. Can you just wear a silly pair of pants please, out of principle? Can you have some discipline. And once they were on, things were no different and I forgot about it and the day went just fine. I did not put the blue pants back on when we returned.
In line at the oasis today, the barrista had a giraffe tattoo around her wrist, so fantastic (and yes it was yellow). I returned later and this girl with a yellow shirt got in line behind me.
She started singing and it was kind of odd.
She was holding a piece of paper that looked like a script all in Spanish with random words in bold so that I could only really read something like "yadayadayadaydaViejoyadayadayadaCancionyadayadayadaManos."
She asked if there was a particular reason I was wearing yellow, besides it being awesome?
Well yeah, you see, it is Yellow April so I'm only wearing yellow for the month.
And is there a reason for that?
No not really.
Cool, yellow is my favorite color. It looks great.
I had to leave for class. I didn't wait for change.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Pandora
The moped seems to have renewed my taste for yellow. We met Chris and Dana in their Jeep with a "RustyBucketOffRoading" sticker in the parking lot of a gas station and 24-hr McD's in Hagerstown. There were ducks in the parking lots, hills in the distance.
We both took a spin around the neighborhood and it was a win. Strapped her down in Dirtdog's truck and headed back to the city.
Here she is, view from the cab:
We both took a spin around the neighborhood and it was a win. Strapped her down in Dirtdog's truck and headed back to the city.
Here she is, view from the cab:
And Dora on the back of the truck:
Didn't lose her on the way home, not even on our late night detour through the west side, when a significant bunch of blocks were closed off as a crime scene. Yellow tape, up and down the street.
Today, my boss said she wished she could wear this color, but thought it might make her sick and I said yeah, it does sometimes.
But still, in 21 days already, it feels like what I am supposed to be wearing.
Glenn sent me this, "Ruintown Laundry Day". Already putting Pandora to work. Knew she was a good buy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Hellow Yellow
At home, mom said I looked all yellow. Indeed.
Serra said, you actually go out in public like that? She also gave me yellow cords.
Lots of signs on the car ride were yellow, and the lines on the road, and I dreamed of following the yellow road and Monday, I was really upset, getting dressed. I was so sick of yellow. I wanted other colors.
Then, later on, Glenn was wearing yellow too and we were biking/moped-ing/motorcycling and he said at least we were very visible and that we were yellow gang members and when we met Robbie he noticed we were both wearing yellow.
In class, Rob said he was happy, so happy about all the yellow I was wearing still, day 20 and we shared our breakfasts and I told him I was getting tired of the yellow. He said, "Well, I admire that you are keeping it up. People these days, they don't stick to their word." So I've got that anyway.
After the shooting range, sometime tonight, Glenn and I are co-buying a yellow moped! A 2006 Tomos LX! I'm so exited about it, I think this will be my yellow vitamin.
Serra said, you actually go out in public like that? She also gave me yellow cords.
Lots of signs on the car ride were yellow, and the lines on the road, and I dreamed of following the yellow road and Monday, I was really upset, getting dressed. I was so sick of yellow. I wanted other colors.
Then, later on, Glenn was wearing yellow too and we were biking/moped-ing/motorcycling and he said at least we were very visible and that we were yellow gang members and when we met Robbie he noticed we were both wearing yellow.
In class, Rob said he was happy, so happy about all the yellow I was wearing still, day 20 and we shared our breakfasts and I told him I was getting tired of the yellow. He said, "Well, I admire that you are keeping it up. People these days, they don't stick to their word." So I've got that anyway.
After the shooting range, sometime tonight, Glenn and I are co-buying a yellow moped! A 2006 Tomos LX! I'm so exited about it, I think this will be my yellow vitamin.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Showers
Kid on the quad told me he liked the yellow, that I was a spot of sunshine on a rainy day.
I told him I was wearing all yellow for April. (Why? I don't know- for the hell of it)
He said he is trying to complement at least one stranger every day.
I said he should also then anti-complement one stranger every day, like "hey! your shoes suck!", but
he didn't seem to get it.
Some people are just not assholes.
he said he is going to be looking out for me the rest of the month. i think i already used up my complement since we exchanged names and are no longer strangers, I suppose (not that we know each other either... HAZY DEF).
Hadley asked if I was going to wear all yellow until the end of classes and I said
No, just for April
And almost everyone always asks if that is hard or if I have a lot of yellow to wear
and the answers are
it is not hard
i do not have a lot of yellow (but steadily people are giving me more to wear)
i almost wish i just had like 2 shirts and these pants.
it is going to be so weird to have multiple pairs of pants next month. i'm already thinking
wow
i have
a lot
of clothes.
I told him I was wearing all yellow for April. (Why? I don't know- for the hell of it)
He said he is trying to complement at least one stranger every day.
I said he should also then anti-complement one stranger every day, like "hey! your shoes suck!", but
he didn't seem to get it.
Some people are just not assholes.
he said he is going to be looking out for me the rest of the month. i think i already used up my complement since we exchanged names and are no longer strangers, I suppose (not that we know each other either... HAZY DEF).
Hadley asked if I was going to wear all yellow until the end of classes and I said
No, just for April
And almost everyone always asks if that is hard or if I have a lot of yellow to wear
and the answers are
it is not hard
i do not have a lot of yellow (but steadily people are giving me more to wear)
i almost wish i just had like 2 shirts and these pants.
it is going to be so weird to have multiple pairs of pants next month. i'm already thinking
wow
i have
a lot
of clothes.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Day 12
So I don't really know what else to say about yellow April, you know, I'm still just wearing yellow and it's like I just am, that's it. It doesn't seem weird anymore- for me it is part of the routine and... my clothes... and I don't even know why I have this blog.
Well one thing: so I feel like shit I'm all sick from April, or Gaddis throwing his phone in every pitcher this weekend or something, but the point is I didn't want to get up, but I had to get up to put on yellow, goddamit, and then I went to this thing at campus but I forgot my wallet so I had to leave my lunch at the counter and then I couldn't get into the library without my ID and I'm just like a total failure at doing anything and I'm hacking yellow boogers on everything, but I got up and so at least even if I don't finish my homework or do anything with my life or whatever, I got up to wear yellow and I'm wearing yellow while I'm dying on the couch and blogging rather than doing homework. Oh wait, maybe that is why I have this blog...or at least I'm sorry if that is why this post exists. I think that is the truth.
No that's not why I have this blog.
I have this blog- since this seems to have become the question of the moment- I have this blog for when it is May or some other time because I doubt it will ever be yellow April again. Unless I do this every April. I like that months repeat.
This is what it would look like to die a yellow death in a bed of tulips.
Well one thing: so I feel like shit I'm all sick from April, or Gaddis throwing his phone in every pitcher this weekend or something, but the point is I didn't want to get up, but I had to get up to put on yellow, goddamit, and then I went to this thing at campus but I forgot my wallet so I had to leave my lunch at the counter and then I couldn't get into the library without my ID and I'm just like a total failure at doing anything and I'm hacking yellow boogers on everything, but I got up and so at least even if I don't finish my homework or do anything with my life or whatever, I got up to wear yellow and I'm wearing yellow while I'm dying on the couch and blogging rather than doing homework. Oh wait, maybe that is why I have this blog...or at least I'm sorry if that is why this post exists. I think that is the truth.
No that's not why I have this blog.
I have this blog- since this seems to have become the question of the moment- I have this blog for when it is May or some other time because I doubt it will ever be yellow April again. Unless I do this every April. I like that months repeat.
This is what it would look like to die a yellow death in a bed of tulips.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
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Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday
LOOK AT THE STARS- LOOK HOW THEY SHINE FOR YOU- AND EVERYTHING YOU DO YEAH THEY WERE ALL YELLOW. as ? in equally hot. Made of the same elements. Like the Sun. The same across the universe, then... humans everywhere in the cosmos, not aliens, but maybe human mutations, perturbations, little variations. very Star Trek.
I took all these pictures on my street in a minute when I was waiting for MeeP to get there (and I showed her and she said "Ok, but I don't get it!").
So she picks me up, we go to Saint Leila's and the yellow comes up again because SL is helping me collect all the yellow things in her apartment and make a still life and we are talking and she says, like MeeP, she doesn't understand but she is on board and she also gave me three of her own yellow shirts for the month and then MeeP said she didn't know if she really liked the yellow thing, and she doesn't like yellow really and (I wasn't surprised- I mentioned- which came up when SL said she liked my shoes- because MeeP had said on the day I got them that she wasn't sure if she did in fact like them and they are so yellow, so I was not surprised by her reaction at all) she wasn't sure if we would still be friends at the end of this month. They are both (SL and MeeP) going to be great parents someday.
Here is the still life:
SL has a wonderful well-behaved dog, how did she train him? (and she never had a dog before).
Well, she says, with this expensive expensive psychology degree, she should be able to train a fucking dog, right? She might not have said fucking. But, It's so true, it should be the final exam or something (for psych degrees- to train a dog).
Later on North Avenue, some guy at a table selling books outside of a... bookstore? called Cyclops? That also seems to be the name of an art space like two doors down? asked SL and I if we were in the fashion show (she was wearing a kimono-esq outer shirt thing, and I was wearing all yellow).
Fashion show- and we walked right by it- why didn't we notice?
Perhaps because the door was in the middle of the block between more interesting things and also some lady was asking us for two dollars as we were getting outta the car, but really, honestly the more weird thing about it all (I think) was the fact that he was selling books on the street in the dark at 11 pm on a Saturday night.
Or maybe that's just me?
What is this cyclops place?
I got called yellow girl after that. End notes. If I'm not careful with these posts, I might OD on yellow and thinking about it and it's only day... 4... so THAT'S IT.
I live in fear that what I right might reduce to ramble.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Beginning Things
I'm trying to wear yellow for the entire month of April. The rule is an ensemble that is clearly based entirely on yellow, but other colors are not banned, like it's ok that there are small blue/green flowers on my yellow dress right now, but wearing jeans and a yellow t-shirt is half-assing it and therefore would not count. It's just within reason- if it suddenly gets really cold, I will wear some other color of jacket and that's ok. I can wear other colors at skating practice (but maybe I will always try to have at least one yellow piece for that? Haven't decided. Haven't skated in April yet. So I'll find out tomorrow).
I mean, I'm making the goddamn rules and I'm the one wearing yellow. So.
Yellow April
might be interesting
is sort of an experiment
Yello because it's a challenge (black/white/blue would be too easy and too normal). April because now is a good time to do this, and it just works out that yellow and April go together anyway.
I've been thinking about clothes. How they are sort of simultaneously a pain and interesting and too much stuff to have and necessary and they are just things. And I just wear them. They can be yellow.
The Doug Effect? It's not a green sweater vest every day, but can you imagine if that was your closet? I sort of feel like that is my closet for a while, a version of it, uniforms.
Oh and why a month? A day is nothing, a week is too short too. If yellow is going to have any effect, it's gonna be over time. What if I was in your class and you saw me for 8 classes where I was consecutively wearing yellow all yellow? You might notice. Or you might not notice that you noticed, that you were looking for the girl in yellow and on class number 9, she is not there.
Whatever, these are just some things.
Field notes from day one: I was all pumped about the first day of Yellow April, wearing all yellow and I walked onto campus and what was the first girl who I saw walking up ahead wearing? That's right. A yellow shirt. Goddammit.
People have said, “I like the yellow”, “That's a lot of yellow”, “You're all yellow”, “Yellow is so cheerful” and then Renae said “My friends are such weirdos! But I like it.” in a crowd of half-drunk kids beside a bonfire next to a converted mill wonderland with Gaddis in a chair in the center getting his head shaved into a mowhawk while we cheered him on, and today Glenn said “Growing up is gross.”
And today someone said “Well aren't you summertime!” to me in my yellow dress. It was so easy, getting up and putting this on.
I mean, I'm making the goddamn rules and I'm the one wearing yellow. So.
Yellow April
might be interesting
is sort of an experiment
Yello because it's a challenge (black/white/blue would be too easy and too normal). April because now is a good time to do this, and it just works out that yellow and April go together anyway.
I've been thinking about clothes. How they are sort of simultaneously a pain and interesting and too much stuff to have and necessary and they are just things. And I just wear them. They can be yellow.
The Doug Effect? It's not a green sweater vest every day, but can you imagine if that was your closet? I sort of feel like that is my closet for a while, a version of it, uniforms.
Oh and why a month? A day is nothing, a week is too short too. If yellow is going to have any effect, it's gonna be over time. What if I was in your class and you saw me for 8 classes where I was consecutively wearing yellow all yellow? You might notice. Or you might not notice that you noticed, that you were looking for the girl in yellow and on class number 9, she is not there.
Whatever, these are just some things.
Robert's house across the street is yellow.
Field notes from day one: I was all pumped about the first day of Yellow April, wearing all yellow and I walked onto campus and what was the first girl who I saw walking up ahead wearing? That's right. A yellow shirt. Goddammit.
People have said, “I like the yellow”, “That's a lot of yellow”, “You're all yellow”, “Yellow is so cheerful” and then Renae said “My friends are such weirdos! But I like it.” in a crowd of half-drunk kids beside a bonfire next to a converted mill wonderland with Gaddis in a chair in the center getting his head shaved into a mowhawk while we cheered him on, and today Glenn said “Growing up is gross.”
And today someone said “Well aren't you summertime!” to me in my yellow dress. It was so easy, getting up and putting this on.
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