I was leaving the library, really just now!, and some kids yell to a guy in front of me, "Hey! Yellow-shirt guy!"
YELLow Shirt Guy! Where was he all month?
I'm thinking about soul-mates (unreal) and comrades and missed connections, and how so often things chop up to timing issues. Or non-issues. But that's silly.
This could be a passage, me to you, watching the thread continue. That could be the best anyone can do- isn't it why we reproduce?
And then once you've passed it on, what can you do besides watch? Miss Aloe said she could never kill herself because, honestly, she's just too damn curious about how her life will play out. And I keep thinking, geez it's SO LONG until I'm going to be fifty- think of how many years that is- think of how much fun we are all going to have, in that time. There is possibility for so much fun. We could wear whatever we want, and even kill each other, but we won't.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
You're Welcome
1: Where's your yellow?
Me: It's not April anymore.
2: She stopped wearing it so that May could come. That was very gracious.
Me: It's not April anymore.
2: She stopped wearing it so that May could come. That was very gracious.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
April 31st
I'm a pedestrian.
I'm still wearing a yellow belt for the moment.
I'm collecting piles of clothes, I'm giving them away. I don't want my clothes anymore.
MeeP and I were wearing basically the same outfit this afternoon, by chance. It was strange. Jean skirts, tees and skate shoes.
At midnight last night, me and aface and company did yellow shots in farewell. The Orioles won. Our wristbands for the GMB fundraiser at the bar were yellow and this morning I threw mine away.
This morning was May or April 31st.
I'm still wearing a yellow belt for the moment.
I'm collecting piles of clothes, I'm giving them away. I don't want my clothes anymore.
MeeP and I were wearing basically the same outfit this afternoon, by chance. It was strange. Jean skirts, tees and skate shoes.
At midnight last night, me and aface and company did yellow shots in farewell. The Orioles won. Our wristbands for the GMB fundraiser at the bar were yellow and this morning I threw mine away.
This morning was May or April 31st.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday
Where are my words? I thought. Thursday afternoon anthropology classes are usually among my most prolific creative moments for drawing and writing and writing. But I was part of the discussion, or just sitting there. Eerie.
The stupid bitches in my class were talking about weight and I listened to them in the bathroom during our break.
"She said she gained 15 lbs when she came to college"
"Oh my god! How do you do that"
"But she's so fucking tiny."
"Yeah well, before she came here she said she only weighed 85."
85?
wtf ew.
and now my brain was speaking stupid girl.
But then they surprised me. Back in the room, we started talking. And one girl said flat out, "I noticed you wear yellow everyday. At first I thought it was just a Thursday thing. But what is it? Is it political?"
No, tomorrow is the last day. Thank Jesus. And we had a whole conversation, about lots of things, until class restarted.
The professor was saying something, a little later, and I only caught the end: "...so we can predict what your chances at life will be." At life? Let's see.
85 lbs- not promising
Anthropology- hippie
Yellow-?
Who cares. Really.
Gogol Bordello- they wear a lot of yellow!
We were at the show, it made me extra happy. Yellow sweaty. I took my underwear off in the bathroom- wasn't yellow anyway. Felt miles better.
MeeP said, for Halloween, she is going to be me in my yellow phase- get it, Amy in yellow.
So then I would need to be Amy also, Amy punk rock. She will wear yellow and I will wear stilts and a studded belt and a cutoff band t-shirt.
Renae sent me this link: life in yellow
The stupid bitches in my class were talking about weight and I listened to them in the bathroom during our break.
"She said she gained 15 lbs when she came to college"
"Oh my god! How do you do that"
"But she's so fucking tiny."
"Yeah well, before she came here she said she only weighed 85."
85?
wtf ew.
and now my brain was speaking stupid girl.
But then they surprised me. Back in the room, we started talking. And one girl said flat out, "I noticed you wear yellow everyday. At first I thought it was just a Thursday thing. But what is it? Is it political?"
No, tomorrow is the last day. Thank Jesus. And we had a whole conversation, about lots of things, until class restarted.
The professor was saying something, a little later, and I only caught the end: "...so we can predict what your chances at life will be." At life? Let's see.
85 lbs- not promising
Anthropology- hippie
Yellow-?
Who cares. Really.
Gogol Bordello- they wear a lot of yellow!
We were at the show, it made me extra happy. Yellow sweaty. I took my underwear off in the bathroom- wasn't yellow anyway. Felt miles better.
MeeP said, for Halloween, she is going to be me in my yellow phase- get it, Amy in yellow.
So then I would need to be Amy also, Amy punk rock. She will wear yellow and I will wear stilts and a studded belt and a cutoff band t-shirt.
Renae sent me this link: life in yellow
Wednesday
On Wednesday, I wore yellow all day, but not to skating practice. We went out right after, and though I stopped at home for a moment, I didn't bother changing clothes.
MeeP said, "It's ok! You can change into pants if you want!"
and I said, "No no whatever, let's just go"
She said, that I just did not want to wear yellow
She said, "I like the yellow now!"
See, we did end up still friends.
She said she would not have noticed I was not wearing yellow though, if I didn't say anything, but later it did become exposed:
At the Dizz, I got totally called out on not wearing yellow- I felt so bad about it, I thought, I should have changed!
It's my fault, partially, because I slapped aface for not having his hawk gelled (that was the deal- if he was in public without the hawk up, I could slap him, and if I was in public not in yellow, he could slap me) and then he said "Hey! You're not wearing yellow! Two days... you almost made it."
I had a red jacket, and a red shirt.
Ellen tried to help, said red had orange in it, which was close to yellow...
aface did not want to slap me in public. He said he'd get arrested. He said he would do it later, in the privacy of his own home. Have not been to his house yet.
A premonition.
I had a long walk home to myself, deflated and was smoking a black and mild just because, was walking up the street not really noticing what was around me. Till I saw one cop car, then another, then like three, on the corner by the fire station. I was across the street. Not a big deal, someone getting arrested, but then there was this big brown bag in the middle of the sidewalk and I got curious, what the hell was out here at 1:30 in the morning on the street so I kind of kicked it and
a man was there! where did he come from!
oh!
"Yeah," he said, "That was the six pack, in there, that that guy just threw at my head."
I looked across the street- the po-po van was pulling up.
what
"He was beating his girlfriend," the guy continued. He had a little broom and dustpan, I hadn't noticed all the glass he was now sweeping up.
You didn't call 911?
"No, well, she did."
Oh, and like a drunken idiot, I was just watching and didn't know what to do. Finally, I picked up the wet paper bag and threw it in a trashcan. Told him I was sorry, so sorry that happened to him.
"That's fucking Hampden." was his response.
I wanted that to not be true. Hampden was supposed to be hipsters and DIY and antique stores and all the things MeeP and I talked about on the way down this very sidewalk, a few hours earlier. But it was fucking Hampden. And this was red- cops and shitty blunts and throwing glass bottles at strangers in the night, beating girls and walking up the street alone. The only thing missing was the blood, but you could feel it seeping anyway, could feel it in my jacket. I'm sure it was there somewhere.
I hurried up the last block and a half- the moon was huge- and after 50 feet or so, I stopped looking back over my shoulder at the man sweeping up the shards by himself on the corner.
MeeP said, "It's ok! You can change into pants if you want!"
and I said, "No no whatever, let's just go"
She said, that I just did not want to wear yellow
She said, "I like the yellow now!"
See, we did end up still friends.
She said she would not have noticed I was not wearing yellow though, if I didn't say anything, but later it did become exposed:
At the Dizz, I got totally called out on not wearing yellow- I felt so bad about it, I thought, I should have changed!
It's my fault, partially, because I slapped aface for not having his hawk gelled (that was the deal- if he was in public without the hawk up, I could slap him, and if I was in public not in yellow, he could slap me) and then he said "Hey! You're not wearing yellow! Two days... you almost made it."
I had a red jacket, and a red shirt.
Ellen tried to help, said red had orange in it, which was close to yellow...
aface did not want to slap me in public. He said he'd get arrested. He said he would do it later, in the privacy of his own home. Have not been to his house yet.
A premonition.
I had a long walk home to myself, deflated and was smoking a black and mild just because, was walking up the street not really noticing what was around me. Till I saw one cop car, then another, then like three, on the corner by the fire station. I was across the street. Not a big deal, someone getting arrested, but then there was this big brown bag in the middle of the sidewalk and I got curious, what the hell was out here at 1:30 in the morning on the street so I kind of kicked it and
a man was there! where did he come from!
oh!
"Yeah," he said, "That was the six pack, in there, that that guy just threw at my head."
I looked across the street- the po-po van was pulling up.
what
"He was beating his girlfriend," the guy continued. He had a little broom and dustpan, I hadn't noticed all the glass he was now sweeping up.
You didn't call 911?
"No, well, she did."
Oh, and like a drunken idiot, I was just watching and didn't know what to do. Finally, I picked up the wet paper bag and threw it in a trashcan. Told him I was sorry, so sorry that happened to him.
"That's fucking Hampden." was his response.
I wanted that to not be true. Hampden was supposed to be hipsters and DIY and antique stores and all the things MeeP and I talked about on the way down this very sidewalk, a few hours earlier. But it was fucking Hampden. And this was red- cops and shitty blunts and throwing glass bottles at strangers in the night, beating girls and walking up the street alone. The only thing missing was the blood, but you could feel it seeping anyway, could feel it in my jacket. I'm sure it was there somewhere.
I hurried up the last block and a half- the moon was huge- and after 50 feet or so, I stopped looking back over my shoulder at the man sweeping up the shards by himself on the corner.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Near the End
I wrote the wrong date on my notes this morning. I somehow lost around 4 days this weekend. It is April 27th and Yellow April will be over on Saturday. I do not know what I will be wearing.
Jean said I look like a big yellow banana and Aidee Dee said I wore a nice neutral color, at the bout. Which is true, none of the home teams are yellow.
I borrowed aface pajama pants, blue plaid, when mine were soaking wet from biking in the rain. The next morning I whined though they had dried. I did not want to put those yellow pants back on. And realized that was the moment, the test. Can you just wear a silly pair of pants please, out of principle? Can you have some discipline. And once they were on, things were no different and I forgot about it and the day went just fine. I did not put the blue pants back on when we returned.
In line at the oasis today, the barrista had a giraffe tattoo around her wrist, so fantastic (and yes it was yellow). I returned later and this girl with a yellow shirt got in line behind me.
She started singing and it was kind of odd.
She was holding a piece of paper that looked like a script all in Spanish with random words in bold so that I could only really read something like "yadayadayadaydaViejoyadayadayadaCancionyadayadayadaManos."
She asked if there was a particular reason I was wearing yellow, besides it being awesome?
Well yeah, you see, it is Yellow April so I'm only wearing yellow for the month.
And is there a reason for that?
No not really.
Cool, yellow is my favorite color. It looks great.
I had to leave for class. I didn't wait for change.
Jean said I look like a big yellow banana and Aidee Dee said I wore a nice neutral color, at the bout. Which is true, none of the home teams are yellow.
I borrowed aface pajama pants, blue plaid, when mine were soaking wet from biking in the rain. The next morning I whined though they had dried. I did not want to put those yellow pants back on. And realized that was the moment, the test. Can you just wear a silly pair of pants please, out of principle? Can you have some discipline. And once they were on, things were no different and I forgot about it and the day went just fine. I did not put the blue pants back on when we returned.
In line at the oasis today, the barrista had a giraffe tattoo around her wrist, so fantastic (and yes it was yellow). I returned later and this girl with a yellow shirt got in line behind me.
She started singing and it was kind of odd.
She was holding a piece of paper that looked like a script all in Spanish with random words in bold so that I could only really read something like "yadayadayadaydaViejoyadayadayadaCancionyadayadayadaManos."
She asked if there was a particular reason I was wearing yellow, besides it being awesome?
Well yeah, you see, it is Yellow April so I'm only wearing yellow for the month.
And is there a reason for that?
No not really.
Cool, yellow is my favorite color. It looks great.
I had to leave for class. I didn't wait for change.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Pandora
The moped seems to have renewed my taste for yellow. We met Chris and Dana in their Jeep with a "RustyBucketOffRoading" sticker in the parking lot of a gas station and 24-hr McD's in Hagerstown. There were ducks in the parking lots, hills in the distance.
We both took a spin around the neighborhood and it was a win. Strapped her down in Dirtdog's truck and headed back to the city.
Here she is, view from the cab:
We both took a spin around the neighborhood and it was a win. Strapped her down in Dirtdog's truck and headed back to the city.
Here she is, view from the cab:
And Dora on the back of the truck:
Didn't lose her on the way home, not even on our late night detour through the west side, when a significant bunch of blocks were closed off as a crime scene. Yellow tape, up and down the street.
Today, my boss said she wished she could wear this color, but thought it might make her sick and I said yeah, it does sometimes.
But still, in 21 days already, it feels like what I am supposed to be wearing.
Glenn sent me this, "Ruintown Laundry Day". Already putting Pandora to work. Knew she was a good buy.
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